Worrying about what others think? We are constantly looking out at the world and taking in information that we then measure against our own understanding and beliefs about ourselves. Put simply, we are constantly judging ourselves, against what we see, hear and feel in the external world.
Ultimately we all want to feel loved and accepted. By nature humans are herd animals, and when we perceive ourselves to be rejected, not good enough or different to the rest of the herd we can begin to feel nervous, stressed, lacking in confidence and want to hide away from the world around us.
If we look at this in a deeper way, the root of this is often in our rejection of ourselves through negative self-talk, being a harsh self-critic, not believing in ourselves and, unfortunately, often comparing ourselves physically to others. This then leads to a perception that others are rejecting us, but in fact it is merely a reflection of our self-rejection. Most often, everyone else is consumed with their own inner critic and are not judging you at all.
And then the more time we spend alone, mulling things over, looking at misleading social media and criticising ourselves, the more difficult the cycle becomes.
It can be crippling, but there are ways to walk forward, to get back into the world and reduce the “noise” of self-judgement and therefore change our external perception.
Finding your tribe can be a great start, not everyone is going to like us or be like us, but there are many people who do, and who we blend well with. Find groups with similar interests, accept invites, even just once a month will be a step out, slowly but surely, build your village.
Be kind to yourself, being human, on planet earth is tough, you are absolutely perfect just as you are.
Adopt the mantra- This little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine. Everyone has a gift, a talent, discover yours and share it.
Just simply walk, put some music on and go for a walk, this will increase endorphins and eventually your worries will fade away.
Have a social media free week, it is false advertising for life… life itself is out there waiting for you to live it. You are part of this tribe and we are here for you. X
What goes up must come down. For every action there is a reaction. The pendulum swings strongly one way and will equally swing the other way until it finally comes to rest in the centre. Within Yin there is Yang, and within Yang there is Yin.
We all know the concept, and we all know what it feels like when balance is affected.
Unbalanced hormones, unbalanced emotions, unbalanced digestion, unbalanced energy levels, unbalanced thinking.
And when we find ourselves out of balance we often lose our ability to manage our life situations, to feel in control, to make rational decisions, and to see clearly a way to get back into balance.
So how can we help to maintain balance in our lives, just as the pendulum, Yin and Yang, nature and natural order does.
We can apply moderation, look outside ourselves and consider the perspective of others, we can let go and understand that all that we can control is our own words, behaviour, actions and choices.
We can eat healthy, nutrient dense food and keep “treats” to a minimum. We can exercise without exhausting ourselves but too energise and detoxify. We can limit harmful chemicals in our food, lifestyles and environment and find natural alternatives. We can limit negative media and chose thought provoking, positive things to read and watch.
I like to use the analogy of the bucket, we have two buckets, one with all the things we would consider bad and unhealthy for us. And one that is full of good and healthy choices. We begin to fill the good and healthy bucket with things that nourish and uplift us, and slowly drop away some of the things in the bad and unhealthy bucket, eventually and easily the buckets will balance, and so too will our ability to function well in all areas of our lives.
When we find balance within ourselves, then so too will our environment.
Try the task today, write out two lists, what could you add to your healthy list, and what could you take away from your unhealthy list, what do YOU need to adjust to help bring yourself back into balance?
As I write this the sun is shining, the birds are chirping and I feel as though I could be in a Disney movie. But then I remember the reality is quite different, it is more like being in some kind of doomsday Hollywood blockbuster, except there is no Bruce Willis racing to save the day.
At this point in time, as fear grows, we are more at risk of sinking into a depressive state than we are of a virus with a 1-2 percent fatality rate. So what can we do, to keep our immune systems strong and to lift our spirits high and stay sane in an insane world?
We can make sure that every day we get a minimum of 20 minutes of sunshine, onto our bare skin. Our bodies have the remarkable ability to convert sunlight into vitamin D, just 20 mins per day, more if you have dark skin, will convert to 20,000iu of usable Vitamin D in the body. We have Vitamin D receptors in our brain, that will respond accordingly to improve your mood, help stave off depression as well as Alzheimer’s. Albeit we may want to forget the past 18 months and imagine a world that once was. Vitamin D also helps your body make its own antibiotics and antivirals, so win/win.
Another thing we can do is exercise, get your body moving, walking, gardening, dancing, whatever you enjoy, but turn off Netflix and move. The body releases endorphins when we exercise and endorphins also keep feelings of depression at bay.
Avoid negative media, it’s only natural to watch the 1pm daily tally, but remember modern media is designed to be click bait, not true journalism. It’s designed to evoke a reaction, more often a negative one. Instead, pick up a good book, do a puzzle, draw, write, listen to music, bake and create, this will fill you with more joy than the latest shocking headline.
And finally, take time to connect with family and friends, check in on those less fortunate than yourself, or those on their own. We are naturally village people, loneliness will take a person faster into depression than anything else. We are stronger as a whole, than in individual parts.
Kia Kaha, Stay Strong.